You know what's eating my soul? The fact that I try so hard to separate my feelings of admiration from affection/attraction, but I won't allow myself to. This results in my feelings of admiration being confused with attraction within myself, and it's getting more and more difficult to care anymore. Male authority figures in my life deserve respect, and yet I behave slightly sexually towards them, possibly making them uncomfortable. It's like I'm a shameless animal. It becomes more morally complicated when certain people (a specific person, but I won't detail who) encourage this behavior from me, making inappropriate comments in environments that are supposed to be strictly... educational? He often expresses affection towards me, complimenting my clothes and the way I wear them, allowing me to have deep and personal conversations with him, his advice usually helpful, but it borders on intimacy. He's told me a lot more about himself than I should know. I fear I crave him.