whenever my boyfriend isnt around i cant be bothered to fucking live, i think i have body dysmorphia because ive always been told im pretty but i dont see it anymore, my eyes are too big and my nose is too fat and i have big chunky eyebrows and my mouth is fucking tiny and im too hairy and i could go on forever, i hate my body. i need to eat but every time i even think or look at food im pissed off and ashamed, and its like any motivation i have disappears, im constantly seeking validation and degradation at the same time, i dont see the point in even being here its like im a waste of time money energy responsibility and focus and love or care, im always zoned out, i disassociate a lot and im just sick of it all.
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