Everything has been feeling like a chore lately. I don't want to wash my hair because washing it takes effort. I don't brush my teeth, my mouth has a bad taste but I'm too tired to do anything. I've been leaving homework till last minute, and id do anything not to go school and get homeschooling. I'm too tired to wake up and get ready, I'm scared of participating in lessons from social anxiety, and I don't want to do the work but I always do, I can't let my grades drop. I don't want to go anywhere, when my mum asks where we want to go say I don't know, knowing I don't want to go. This is with friends too but I still go, because I'm scared of missing out. And im scared my friends don't like me, I'm scared that they have favourites and best friends while I'm just there. Ive always been scared of abandonment and loneliness. On top of that I'm constantly thinking about suicide and self harm. But I'm too scared to kill myself and worry my mum will see the scars, its happened twice before.