I have been in a relationship since February and its gonna end in October mutually agreed. We're breaking up because she wants kids and I don't and this is understandable and valid. I have no hate or ill against her but I feel so much guilt because of the fact I realized I may like someone who I used to have a crush on before I dated her. No I'll never cheat no I won't betray her love I won't do anything while in a relationship with her I just feel so awful and terrible about it even though I'll be single in October i feel such shame about liking another girl while dating her. The only reason im still dating her is because I never took her out on a picnic and took her out on a proper date because she was busy that and she wanted me to go to her mom's wedding. Even when I am single Im not chasing after that girl I gotta take time to myself and process things and evaluate myself. Overall I feel like an awful person and I definitely learned to probably never do casual dating again.