I wish I could enjoy life the way I see others do. I want to be able to go outside without worrying about every single thing that could be looking wrong with me. I want to buy groceries without feeling like everyone is staring at me and judging everything I do. I want to feel joy around others, instead of being scared of them. I want to laugh, to scream, to cry, to genuinely smile, to show emotions I truly feel instead of hiding and pretending. I want to come back home and not overthink everything I said or everything I‘ve done. I want the pit in my stomach to go away. The racing of my heart. The trembling in front of others. The nausea and urges to bang my head against the wall. I want to be me. But not the me that I currently am. Not the me that has been shaped by anxiety and fear and that wilted away. I want to be the real me free of judgement by others and judgement by me. The me that was free to become exactly the person they wanted to be.