i hate how quickly i start spiraling whenever i've disappointed someone. i'm 25 and still haven't officially graduated high school. need to finish ONE course and i'm free. i've applied for this course AT LEAST 4 times. i'm tired. both of myself and everyone else who's trying to be ""helpful"" but usually just makes me feel x10 more miserable, like i'm CHOOSING to stay where i am, like i LIKE essentially being a high school dropout who's working a fulltime below minimum wage job. i'm so so so fucking tired of everything and everyone all the time.