I hate my parents. I really fucking do. Im so envious watching people get love, and support no matter how destitute; all I want is for them to pay for something that has always been free I feel like I've never been able to properly see my future because its never really looked like "mine." It's just... so... much. I don't even have the word to say WHY I hate them so much I just know I do. I know I can't stand how my mother read every single book on parenting and still sits back and enjoys it when my father punishes me. it enrages me how she did ALL of that yet lets someone control her like a puppet. my brother too, I see my father messing with him. I just cant understand it. he cant be wrong, ever. I've searched for his motives and tried to understand. but in my heart I know it's not because "he wants the best for me". maybe I'm just fooling myself... but I can't erase "I want to see you cry" and "you have no control".