Like fuck I don't even know what to say. I've been a whole mess this week. I won't say who, but someone in my past was terrible to me as a child. I was choked by their hands wrapped around him. They didn't try to kill me thank God or else I wouldn't be here today. And they made me clean the damn mess. My head would hurt after they hit me. I wasn't even over 10 yet. And recently I just learned they used to torture me? Like they covered my face with a towel and poured water on me. It's called waterboarding. Those 2 were the most severe ones. The other one was just hitting and yelling which happened way too many times. The whole reason was just because of my "lack of effort" in sports. I hate seeing scars caused by them. It makes me feel so dirty and tainted and my mind goes back to those memories. I'm fine now (I think), despite the constant yelling from my dad and the fact my mother guilt trips me. God they both suck. I hate that I can't move out b/c im young and yelling doesn't = abuse