why do i like you this much? so much so that i even tried changing myself. i tried to turn back to catholicism just for you, i started ignoring my own mental health for you, i thought i was special. turns out everything was casual, you treated everyone this way, yet when it came to me it was always somehow different. lingering touches, secret stares, yet all that just for you to like my friend? what does she have i dont? maybe shes more prettier, more smarter, more your type. and me? im just here, just same plain old me. the one you used to run to when things got hard cause i would listen and comfort you. well, clearly you thought of me only as a friend, a safe space that you could always run to. i love you, but damn im tired. is it always going to be like this? i hope not, i really hope not. its getting so tiring to love you.