i hate myself so much. all i do is hurt everyone around me and the people i love.... everyone except for my favorite person including my own family feels superficial. i feel like im just using them to get admiration and ego, though im pretty sure everyone just secretely hates me because im super annoying, and it doesnt matter anyways if everyone i know objectifies and idolizes me and disregards my emotional needs to keep the "comfort person" image of me in their heads. whatever i deserve it. my favorite person though, i love them so much (platonically) its overwhelming. but everytime we talk i end up being too much and too annoying, i cant love without exploiting and i feel like im attackign her with teeth and claws whenever i talk to my favorite person. i distance myself from her because im scared to hurt her but im scared my distance is hurting her and i dont know what to feel.