I wish I hated my Dad. I love him because he is my father but it would be so much easier if he was never in my life. He is emotionally abusive towards me and my younger sister and physically abusive towards our pets. I wish I could have the courage to cut contact and leave like my mother did but I can't. I miss when I was 5 and we would play games together on the Wii. I miss when we would do a handshake before he went to work every morning. I miss when I was proud to have his features when I looked in a mirror. I'm just so tired. I know its not good for me or my sister but I still love him. I'm afraid to leave because the child inside of me still loves her dad. It just hurts so much. I need to cut him off so then my sister has the courage to do so as well but I’m so tired. I’m so tired of loving people that say they love me but just hurt me instead. I yearn that he is the same person behind I dont think he ever was the person I long to remember him as and I dont think he ever will be.