TW: rape & conversion therapy To start out I’m a lesbian, believe me I am, I hid it for most of my life however as my ex-stepdad believed in conversion therapy and rape Now with the rant I’m really confused and don’t know what to do, but on Halloween I let a mate crash at mine, I’ve done this many times with male mates in the past, but essentially in the morning we had sex I didn’t want to and I hated it and cried when he left but I feel so conflicted as although I didn’t say yes, I also didn’t say no, I just kept pushing and saying I’m tired and sick, but years ago when I was convincing my stepdad that I liked men I had to sleep with them otherwise he didn’t believe me and this guy is one that I slept with so I feel like it’s on me that this happened despite not wanting it, and I hate myself so much, it feels like I betrayed myself and other lesbians and I feel so guilty