I'm so mad about my childhood and my family. I thought I grew up in a good home. I did, but now after moving out I am so, so, so mad! It's a cult. It's a huge cult, and they're trapped in it. They're all going to get married and have kids and keep teaching the so-called gospel. It's all fake. It's not real, and they're falling for it. And I can't let go of the faith. I can't let go of the cliches. I am scared to do anything. I can't express myself adequately because the only thing I was taught to do was to pray and pray and pray. I don't want to anymore, I think it's so stupid. It's why I used to hurt myself all the time. It's why I cry for my family and my future. I don't know what to do. It's all a lie. It's such a huge lie and I'm the only one who sees it as it is. They keep bringing it up, they keep telling me about God this, God that and it's not real... it's not real. It's my whole childhood. It was my whole life. How do I live without it?