I wish I knew for certain if I was a narcissist. Or am a narcissist. Or if I'm just an attention seeker. All I know is the emotions feel real. Always have. And I've been living with them. While everybody wants to tell me they love me, etc. Etc. After everything. Yeah, I fucked up big time. I'm sure I projected a lot if shit. But it hurts. My own siblings won't believe me. They didnt care when I was depressed as shit, so openly. My sister walked up to my room and all she could do was bitch at me about her stuff being out of order. In MY bedroom, she used like a storage closet. I was laying in bed 24/7, sleeping for 18 of those. I was being groomed by a grown man for a year. My friends grew out of me as soon as they didn't need my place. I was there so they had someplace with no oversight. So they could pressure me into shit I didn't want. I thought I had to so they wouldn't abandon me. But eventually I reacted. I reacted poorly. I did something terrible. And now I should die.