Recently one of my old hometown friend is getting Married we are still in our early 20s all my family went ahead for the reception, i alone refused to go and stayed home I haven't talked to them or any other hometown friends in a long time and my conversations and interactiones with others in my hometown community has always been very awkward and uncomfortable for me , everybodys view of me just seems to be of a quite and serious kid , but I am mostly dissapointed in myself lack confidence and realy realy socially awkward specialy in my environment I am completely incompatible with others around me , i lack common interests I feel the conversation is too forced I am too blunt for them and i find the topics and entire interaction meaningless and uncomfortable, as i grow up I feel more and more like I am so incompatible with others and my environment and those who do share my interest either I am too self conscious or lack self confidence to reach out too, it's realy tiring.