I am the eldest daughter and I am met with people including my mother and my sister calling me selfish. They don’t see how much I do because it’s invisible. I handle myself, I am so fucking independent, I got my first degree a year early and I’m omw to my next two and I’ve never had help a day in my life with any of it. Meanwhile my mother babies my adult sister, handles her day to day troubles and anxieties, is a constant sounding board, treats her like she’s incapable of doing anything for herself at all. And while I’m not jealous (cuz I’m glad I wasn’t babied and made weaker for it) I am resentful. And when she calls me selfish I am livid. I want to leave but I would be so sad if I left. I get so homesick for the same people who don’t value me. My sister only speaks to my father when I’m around or home for breaks. I absorb everyone’s fucking stress. I talk them through solutions. I solve problems. I offer advice. When needed I take charge. And I am met with just fucking emptiness