The more I think. The more I realize I'm no one's first option- not even their second probably. I have been before- through partners that never lasted or chose friendships that burned out in the end... but I don't really know about any of my friends- no one comes to me if they're having a bad day no one really checks on me no one... cares enough about me to invite me to a party or to do... anything. I'm there. And they seem to enjoy me- and when I'm not there .... they don't care