once i released something on here, later looked to see if anyone related and found a post that sounded like a now-old friend, in tone and chosen words. it confirmed my worst fears, that i was being a burden when they said it was ok to be so, that they don’t actually hold me at the same level of importance that i hold them at. for me, a friend can bother me at any time, be in whatever mood or phase and i’ll be there. the world only appears to get worse, why should we turn inwards when we should look towards each other? but i’ve been proven otherwise. if they weren’t blocked, i would’ve messaged “i’m doing a you right now”, just to see if it sparks a reaction. but it wouldn’t because i’m me and they are themselves. they would shrug and move on, whilst i cry and write.