i feel like i’ll never make a genuine lifelong human connection, recently i just noticed that i barely have any friends (or people that i’m close to), i don’t talk that much, i’ve never had a large friend group or a small consistent one, i don’t go out that much cause i have no one to go with and i’m missing out on a lot,i feel like my ‘friends’ wouldnt even remember me if they didn’t see me in school and i don’t even feel like i fit into my family either because all of them are older than me with a person of their own now, like i js want to feel any kind of human interaction that makes me feel like i exist to them and that i can go out and have fun with people that like being around me as much as i like being around them, or that they love me, or that they see me as a trustworthy person. am i just boring? too nice? too mean? too weird? it’s gotten to a point where i overthink every interaction tbh. i keep crying and wishing i never existed when i think about it, i hate it