I feel so pathetic coming to vent online, but I genuinely can't handle living anymore. I hate saying such a thing, even admitting Ive been thinking of it in the back of my head is too much to handle for me. I just feel overwhelmed and burnt out from living day to day. I can't handle the loneliness I feel despite being surrounded by loved ones. I want to feel cared about especially when ive hit a hard time, rather than when im at my highest. I just wish I had a shoulder to lean on without feeling pathetic enough to ask or beg for one. I haven't felt this way in over a year since I started meds. Im having what's one of the first panic attacks ive had in such a long time and my mind is so scrambled. I wish I had somebody to talk this through with and make me feel better and seen and loved without being a bother. I hate being such a downer to the people around me. I love them so so so much and I feel so guilty feeling unloved but I can't take this feeling anymore.