I’ve been so busy lately that free time is agony. I’m a nursing student who’s also working on multiple science projects on the side along art projects with time constraints. I haven’t had time to rest or any alone time, until today, and yet what should feel like relief feels like agony. I feel like I’m wasting my time. I feel like I can’t relax without feeling like there’s something more productive I could be doing. As I lay here in bed typing this the only thing I want to do is rip my skin apart. I truly think it’s the only thing that will bring me relief, but I can’t because I’m supposed to be able to handle everything. And even if I were to fall back onto unsavory habits, I can’t hide them. And no one can know I’m struggling because if I do everyone will know it’s getting bad again and tell me to slow down, but I can’t. I have too many things to do and people depending on me. And yet now that I have free time for the next 24 hrs, it’s agony.