You know, I've been through so much the past couple of weeks, one thing that entered my mind was, if there's someone up there, then I have a bone to pick with them. I don't understand how one is supposed to remain kind and normal after everything you put them through. Sometimes I wish I could just be a sadist, get revenge and not care, but that's not how it works, regardless of what I do that wouldn't give me a childhood, I know I can't bring myself to either, I'd feel bad and I hate that. People call me empathetic and kind, I hate that. Seriously, this life has been ridiculous, I'm barely an adult and I feel decades old, I experienced so much no one else might even go through in their lifetime. Why do I have to care about people but others don't? Why am I supposed to persevere through things that would shatter others? So kindly, god, universe, whatever you are, if you are, wherever you are, you're a sick fuck.