do you even care about me? Is what i want to say, but i just can’t get it out. you are my older sister, so you should have at least some care for me, right? but why doesn’t it seem like it? why do I have these thoughts that you’re going to leave me, like you tried when you attempted suicide a year ago? or move out and cut contact with me? why do I have these thoughts? why can’t you spend time with me like you used to? why do you have to be distracted by your friends and girlfriend? why did you throw me aside when you met friends back in 8th grade? why— now that you’re a senior— do you still avoid me? why do these even affect me? It’s embarrassing, right? still wanting attention from my older sister. but I have nobody else to go to. So i wish to ask, do you even care about me?