It's May 18, 2026, and still here feel so stuck. Because I'm thinking of my deadline of enrollment this May 20th and the funny fact is I haven't enroll yet 'cause of financial problem. You know I'm thinking I should stop my education. Yes I know it's only 1 year but for me it is what it is, it's okay that I'll stop for awhile because I'm really really tired mentally and emotionally I haven't spoke to any friends nor family about my true feelings. Even my bf trying to comfort me - yeah it helps but sometimes there's some negative thoughts of like "what will be my life if I stop my education or what will happen to me in the future?". You know I still envy my friends because they're living their lives at the fullest while me I feel so stuck and insecure and always thinking and saying "why am I living in this misery? Why me? I didn't do anything these days. This is too much for me". I wanted to live like so free, I'm gay and a man but it feels I don't have freedom.