Went to a party. They all just wanted to talk to eachother and when it was me and the party girl only she was on her phone and didn't care. I put in the most effort to be there and give her something she'd like and was extremely respectful to her family unlike the other girls. Been struggling with mental/verbal abuse. Been struggling mentally. Nobody texts unless I text. I feel so disconnected rn. I have no motivation, I've wet the bed again, I relapsed, and I feel so lost. I hate myself so much. Sometimes I don't know if I'm real or who I am. I hate this life so much. I'm trying to be grateful for what I have that I don't need but I just can't be happy rn. I'm trying but failing.
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