I’m so alone. It’s my fault. I had one “friend” from 8th-9th grade she was nice but it was more of a transaction because both of our parents wanted us to become friends because we didn’t have any and her mom especially would make her invite people over so like yeah. I’ve had other acquaintance’s before that but once I got into 10th grade I didn’t even have acquaintance’s. Im 19 now. I have a big family and I love them and I listen to them and am there for them. I’m closest with 2 of my sisters but I mostly just talk about family stuff with them work and not much else like I tell them a lot but I’d never tell them even more. I wouldn’t ever feel comfortable talking about how alone I feel with them even though one of them has talked to me about actually a lot of them have. I feel alone because I’m dishonest I’m never myself I never say what I want to say. I never allow myself to be vulnerable never allowing people to understand me on a deeper level. I feel so terrified to be honest