i sent a boy cute pictures of me. he said to someone else “i’d have to be a few shots in to do anything” + “she’s cute i’ll give her that” a different boy says he loves me but follows instagram girls with barely any clothes on. i’ve asked him about it and he doesn’t say anything. if i tell him i think someone’s cute, he gets upset and stops talking to me (goes quiet). ive never had a boy genuinely see me for me. know all of the little things i do. i think boys only pay attention to me because of my body but not my face. i’m probably not the standard beautiful. i wish they knew how i act when im having anxiety about something. or every time he goes to a connivence store he brings back a slurpy (coke and cherry). i don’t want to be the lover anymore. i want to be loved without any other dirty motive. a guy has never asked for my # i have always asked. anytime i think about that sentence, i feel very sad and hurt. wish me luck i guess. i want to give up on love