This is mildly inappropriate, sorry. I can't stop these thoughts, they eat at me and despise them with my very existence but even if I know I'm thinking them even if I can stop I won't. I don't know why. It disgusts me but I just can't stop. I'm not even a teenager yet so why is this happening to me? I feel as though I don't want to be here. I don't want to die but I just don't want to exist or to ever have. I don't heave real reasons, not many anyway, but I do have more reasons to live. Because when I die the wrong name will be on my grave. When I die people will mourn and be sad. When I die they will think they failed me. I act as though my purpose in life is to please others make them happy but when I die the will be sad they would thing it's their for not noticing pushing digging deeper they will think it was them. I have plans. Maybe but I won't, CAN'T. And that's what makes me even more mad. I don't have a reason to feel like this I just do and it haunts me. -F3nn (who?)