I'm just losing all hope for myself. Everything isn't getting better day by day and I'm constantly miserable. I'm scared to take steps to better myself because that would mean I'd actually have to try and put myself out there in the open, and when it turns out you're actually transfeminine it just makes you yearn yet despair even more given how everything is right now. Im heavily contemplating hurting myself in some way but I'm too scared to follow through. I feel trapped. Like I can't go anywhere. All I can do is rot and wait until God takes me.