I'll be honest i really, really want to die. I think death is beautifully peaceful and honest, way better, living right now is far more depressing than death would ever be. The constant feeling of beign honest there but not quite but when your finally there life decides TO PUNCH YOUR DUMB ASS WHO THOUGHT YOU COULD HAVE A MOMENT OF PRIDE. Whatever plan this is it's pissing me off, how come evrey singel thime i ahve a moment of stabiltiy its ruined WHY DO I ALWAYS HAVE TO ACT LIKE IM ON SURVIVAL AND WATCH WHY CANT I EVER REST?! I honestly dont get how people can just live life and be fine...i cant last a day without thinking about death now its worse since its so strong. I envy them honestly, what do i need to do to live like them? Anytime i try life reminds me once again im not blessed like them, im not happy like them, im not perfect like them, but rather a dumb motherfucker who desperately tries to fit in.