I really hate everything about myself. I’ve never once been in a relationship or anything, but the only way I think I’d want one is if it was one sided against me. I don’t deserve love or to enjoy anything I want to be used as a kind of punishment for being a horrible person. I’m so deeply fucked up mentally and physically, I hate my body & I hate who I am. I just want to be destroyed by someone, to be broken mentally to the point I’m no longer this god forsaken shell of a person. I don’t go outside, I don’t work, I don’t eat much or sleep correctly. I’m a fucking disgrace and a waste of oxygen. I know I need help but I feel as though I’m beyond it. It’s funny though it’s not like people don’t try get with me, I’m just to dense to realise and even at that I would probably turn them down, normal people don’t want what I crave. FYI I’m a 18yr old girl