My mother and I will never be okay. Its hard to accept. We are two magnets with similar ends and thus we push each other away. I cant even have written thoughts to myself. She will pick up anything if it finds itself on the floor or out and read it. And she thinks its okay. She looks down on me all the fucking time, just because she's my mother. No matter how reasonable I try to be or how softly I try to approach something. Shes a fucking beast, screaming at me and make it seem like im picking fights with her. That's the only way she sees fit to treat me. Bevause im her child. Which means I am no one when I speak to her. She makes me haye myself so much, she thinks coming around after everything happens and hugging me, telling me she loves me, just makes things disappear. And she's such a liar. She'll tell me I can tell her anything, that its okay to cry and all this other junk. But its a trap. Me crying irritates her, she hates seeing it and loves pointing it out when it happens.