i gave my life away to a deadbeat addict - at first things seemed good, their addiction matched my insanity and we met each other on some level - gradually my friends liked me less and less because of the chances i gave this person over and over - i am losing my friends - i am alone and miserable - we live together and my partner spends my money and trashes the place - i am getting more hopeless and craziee and fatter and older - occasionally they give me a glimmer of hope, a good day where they promise everything will be ok - and then right back to the same - i want it to be painless if i can - maybe the same drugs they take, i have never used them myself - it seems the easiest way to go and they are always on hand - hopefully nobody will care much anymore to mourn me - there's nothing left for me. i will give my cat to my ex best friend and she will be ok in time. my friends will be sad but move on. same with my family.