I lost my son yesterday. He was just 7 months old and I dont have anyone to talk to. I truly don't know how to bear this, seemingly infinite unending agony. I dont want to. Every now and then I turn my head to look for his little einstines bouncer, to see him playing with the little Dino stuffed we hooked onto it, to see him smiling and looking up at me as I look at him. But he isn't there. He never is. And he never will be. Today I gave away all of his papers swaddlers to someone who needed them... I kept one. Is that weird? I put it with the outfit my mother knit for him, along with the pacifier he preferred the most, and its in my closet next to my mother's and grandmother's urns. I lost them this year too. My grandmother was going to be so happy to meet him but she couldn't make it before he was born. My mother passed just a month ago from a car accident, hit by a drunk fucker. Im so tired. I dont know how to continue. Every time I close my eyes I hear him. I want him. god. fuck..