It feels like every day is a battle between mind and body and the only out i’ve found is to disconnect the 2 from each other, be that with substances, people, work or just plain ol dissociation and distractions but once I reach that state of calm the world reminds me that I am someone, somewhere who lives only for the sake of other people only for the sake that I wish to cause no harm to them, to make their lives better. Sometimes I wish I really was selfish, that I just didn’t care, that I actually value myself on my own worth and not what others make of me but idk, I care too much and that weakness has been used and abused soo many times that I just don’t see much point in anything. Maybe I’m just delusional maybe I am selfish and just hit behind a veil of idk what. My minds a mess, my body isn’t cooperating Wabbalabbadubdub. M 22