i hate being jealous. i shouldn't be, and it just makes me feel gross inside. my friends are out, going to concerts, shopping, having fun and all, and i'm in my room, stuck with myself and my laptop, cause i can't even go outside without wanting to look decent- in which i never can, cause each time i try making myself look good, it backfires and i look like the same mess as always. and even when i do wanna go out or whatnot, i need money for that, and i can't get a job yet either. i feel horrible whenever i see or hear about the people i know going out and enjoying themselves, and i know i can't do that cause even my FATHER doesn't wanna give me any freedom or let me at least buy stuff without him interrogating me on everything. so here i am again, in my room on my laptop, and i know i won't really be able to do anything that other girls my age do cause of myself.