im scared to grow up. i feel more and more like a child the older i get. i was addicted to adult content as a child and always treated like a mature little girl who was so grown up and smart. who was that? i dont know where she went. all that's left is a Thing masquerading as a human. a gross, obese, angry, scarred, starving Thing that's scared to have to go out into the real world one day and live among real humans. im not a real person. i have a soul, but i am not a real person. im something different. i am a machine. i am a monster. i am a ghost. i am so many possibilities. but i am not human. and i dont know how long this Thing that i am can continue to act like a real human until it crumbles further than it already is. i am frayed at the edges. my corners are bent and my skin is smudged with scars and scabs. i just want to be less. to be less means theres mess to hide. less of this monster peeking out from underneath this shell of a face that pretends to be a someone's daughter.