Sometimes I wanna kill myself, but for what? I refuse to throw away everything I worked so hard for. Two years ago. Just two. I was depressed and in school, there was one day I planned on committing suicide, but I asked a counselor for help first because I always hoped someone would come save me. So now I'm here, in high school, with the same thoughts as I once had. But really, that's the only thing holding me back, otherwise I would've been dead yesterday. I wish I had real friends. REAL friends. I have like 3 friends, but goodness, 2 of them I'm not their best friend, and the other one replaced me with their boyfriend. And I try talking to them, I try getting them into my interests or playing with me. They just... don't care enough. I've never been someone's 1st choice. But I have so many 1st choices. I doubt life gets any better from here, I'll always just be a background character. I wish I could just sleep forever, but not die, just sleep until the world ends.