Dude I realized I’m the problem. For every single issue in my life. I can’t fix myself either. I have tried hating myself, hating others, loving myself, loving others, but nothing works. I mean literally nothing. I don’t want to die-I want to forget all my responsibilities and leave everyone I know behind and just hug and cry to that one friend I’m secretly in love with. But, ik I don’t deserve that kind of love. I’m actually going insane. I don’t feel myself anymore. Or maybe I do. And maybe that person is a horrible one. I cannot feel happiness. It’s simply not possible. The only thing that makes me happy is the thought that I could just hold her, and feel her, and just be next to her for eternity. She deserves better. She’s been through so much shit she doesn’t deserve this piece of shit I’ve become. So, I know how to solve this. To solve every single problem in my life. If I just died, every single and I mean EVERY SINGLE PROBLEM WOULD BE SOLVED. Hope this time it works