No matter what I do or how hard I try I cannot accomplish my goals. I watch people in my life constantly succeed or surpass me with carelessness. Things I care about more than anything are pass times for others yet they blow me out of the water. I put too much time into things to be this embarrassingly "bad" at them. I've always been positive and thought I was capable of doing anything I set my mind to. I've proven to myself this isn't true. I'm losing steam to keep myself going, I don't want to think so poorly of myself but I am a realist and have proven my worth is minimal. I don't know what to do anymore. I don't want advice I don't want empathy I simply want to be the person I have set out to be for last 30 years. accepting I never will be is killing me. I know I cant take much more of this but I cant get myself to give up. I just want it to end.