i got raaped by ,y older brother when i was like 8-9 he would give me 20 dollars until mmy mom found out and took me to a person idk but it didnt help he just started again next year i told him remind me to stop 9i was in a loop of bad thoughts) he didnt.. he tried sticking it up whonse but he couldnt and i didnt know back then... he stated spacing it out more brushing against me well aparntly he is fucking she bitch cant you just die. i keep thinking and doing a bad bad things i just cant stop it i cant fucking stop it i waer a mask doinging fine with the fucking blankness and hiding my toughts how do i stop.. i hjust cant -coleslaw