I just tried to kill myself, but it didn't work because the knot was too loose. I feel a very big existential emptiness, and the only thing that still keeps me alive is my mother and the habit I have of cutting my wrists. I have been self-harming for several years of my life, so I have to keep covering myself up to hide some of these scars. I take antidepressants daily, but it seems like nothing works or reduces my desire to die. I don't feel like eating, drinking, or taking care of myself, I've already gotten anemia because of this several times. as I write this, I feel a slight relief, but I know that this emptiness will return.