i feel so guilty. like extremely. i dont think anyone will relate but, im muslim, and ever since i was 9, i started having questions. maybe i was just curious about other religions, but i wasnt so sure if i felt like i believed everything in sunday school or during prayer. i grew up really religious, my dad was very and my mom was mild. but i had suicidal thoughts when i was ten. i did sh when i was nine. i had a traumatic childhood. screaming matches in the car, house, everywhere. at a point where my dad kicked my brother out of the car, and they were screaming and my dad was saying he was going to divorce my mom. all infront of a little, nine year old girl that didnt even know why the moon followed our car. it was extremely traumatic, though it doesnt sound like it was in the paper. there were times where my mom splashed burning hot coffee on my dad. my friends were real ass bitches, not giving a fuck when i told them i was going to kill myself at that second and comforting the liar.