Life feels pointless. I'm overweight, unconfident, and stuck in self pity. I have no one to talk too about the the things that are going on in my mind, sometimes death seems like the only option. Sobriety is hell, no escape from the mundanity of life is itself a prison worse then drinking myself to death. I don't know how to continue, all I do is work and sit in my virtual asylum that blots out any semblance of an actual thought. I'm too afraid to go out, too ashamed to reach out, and I truly believe this will be my existence until I die. And I hope that comes sooner rather than later. I can't kill myself. I keep telling myself that but it's all I really want. I don't want to continue this futile attempt at happiness and health. I need something but I will never find it.