I hate what im about to do. I am extremely weird. Im horny. My thoughts consume me to the point where i want to deactivate my brain. And i cant tell anyone. Im young. Too young. Its so fucking sad. I relapsed 2 hours ago. I make sexual jokes around my friends. They find them so funny. And im glad. Im the happy funny friend. Im proud of it. But no one ever checks on me. And no one cares. I have a 17 year old friend (im 12). He is the person i can actually talk to. And for some reason i cannot these days. I cannot vent. I just cannot. And this is just one of the things that bother me. the horniness is just another fish in the sea. I feel disgusting. If im like this at this young age... what will i be like after 10 years? I dont want to imagine it. I need to change something but i cant. Im desperately trying. But i cant. im confused. Really confused. I dont know what to do. I dont know how i feel. Its all a question mark to me. And i need help. But i cannot reach any. help me.