i wanna commit, i cant. i cant stop self harming myself, everyone thinks im stupid for doing it, that it has no meaning, but pain is what gets me to feel something. my mom is threating me with therapist, knowing i have anxiety and wont even talk. i hate talking to strangers irl abt my problems. i tried commiting a lot of times, none of my attempts worked. i feel so invisible in my own family, they only talk to me if they need something. im being abused mentally. i feel like everyone is playing with my feelings, i hate my life, i want it to end. i cant even eat properly without someone calling me fat. why cant i just be normal? im fucked up, everyone tells me that, they tell me i need help, i know i do. but i dont wanna be helped or saved.
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