i feel like im not getting better. it's been a years. I've been waiting for it to get better, but it seems that my life.. love to see me suffering. im still a teenager, people said if teenager feeling this way, they just got yelled by their parents or something, but it is not. im tired of everything, i always bottling my feelings, and it gets worse and worse day by day. do i even deserve to get treated like this? do i even deserve to keep being alive? my parents always disappointed about my low grades. my friends disappointed to know that i do $h when i cant handle this anymore. i think everyone is disappointed at me. i feel so vulnerable and helpless. no one noticed, no one. i cant even show my emotions. i got mocked for being depressed, my ex friends said "depression are not real, stop faking it" ... i hate you. i cant even tell anymore if im depressed or not. im genuinely tired of everything, i feel like this is the end. it doesn't get any better.