3 days ago I self harmed. I don’t even remember doing it, I just remember one moment I was talking to my grandma her voice slowly drifting away and then I woke up my arm bleeding and burning. The burning sensation hasn’t left my head, the burning made everything in the world go silent, made all the suffering, thoughts, and feelings go numb. All I could focus on was the burning. The burning sensation numbed everything. These 3 days has been hard not to try and attempt it myself I wanted that burning sensation again. I wanted things to go quiet again. Life felt peaceful and actually tolerable in those moments. Today something happened with my mom and I couldn’t take it anymore, I self harmed again, and I felt so good. I felt so much better like a weight lifted off my chest, I remember making a relived sigh, like I could actually breathe. It’s so hard not to want to do it again.