I nearly 2 and half years away from the day that my brother died in front of me. He had a brain tumour, the operation worked and then it didn't. Then he was in a coma and I had to deal with that as well as my mom and dad watching it as well. Eventually we let him die. We withdrew treatment. He walked into that hospital and he was OK. There were threats that at some point he wouldn't so he chose to have the operation. I am angry about that! I am angry with him for choosing to do it. I fought hard to let him go. I did not want him to be badly disabled. I am furious that he has died. I miss him. Fuck the universe - it has absolutely fucked me over. It has destroyed my life. I am a very very different person.