I feel like I'm wasting my life, I'm 18 and don't have a job, don't have IRL friends, the only times I leave the house is for counseling or holidays and all I do during the day is sleep or be on the internet it's honestly embarrassing to say all I do is waste time and then mope that I did just that. I hate it so much but it's just scary I guess? I have social anxiety which does explain some of it and I have depression so again that explains some of it but I just feel so much pressure to "grow up" and act like an adult it's hard though, I don't know how to be independent and I envy my older sisters ability to be she can cook, she has a job, she loves to leave the house and she has friends.. I get polar opposites with siblings but I just feel ashamed I feel like I let my mom down and that she deserves better then a screw-up of a second child.. I'm not even comfortable doing online work like YouTube because the internet shames you for shit you did as a kid so I'd be cancelled day one...